Freedom

All things in life must come to an end, for the chance of new beginnings. Saying goodbye to the old is always bittersweet, even if the old was causing pain.


After a long time of thinking, I have come to realize that I have been given the chance of a lifetime. There's no stopping me now, except my own fear. But I haven't let my fear get in my way before. I have conquered them, over and over again.

Every sunny day comes to an end, but so does the darkest of nights. No matter how cold and black the nights are, there will always be a new sunrise.

I have nothing to lose, only to gain. The only things I have to lose now, are the last destructive things that was born out of my own self preservation.


Today I decided to say goodbye to someone. Goodbye to the one who was with me in what felt like forever. Goodbye to the time we were together, a time so difficult and a burden... filled with pain, torture and endless tears of disgust. But... now that we're apart and it's goodbye... I grieve you with falling tears even so.


The memories of you will linger. But I will rise above my insecurities, conquer my fears and push forward.


No matter what happens, I won't let you in to my life ever again. You will remain a memory. The eternal goodbye pierces my heart with despair and sorrow, fear and loss. My body still feels like an alien. The mirror won't change. But once I reach my goal, I know it will be an illusion.


I can't say I'll miss you. It feels empty for now and I'm scared of what's to come. It'll take time to get used to a life without the Monster, the one telling me how fat, ugly and disgusting I am.


But in exchange... I have regained my freedom.

© 2018-2020 by Kajsa Artifex
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