Updated: Oct 18, 2019

I can't help it, but I'm grieving. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that the book is all done, but at the same time it's a big heartache... It's been 14 years. Not just on the first book, but on the series in general. It's been with me through so much and leaving that part of my life behind feels so... I can't even describe it.

I can't wait to start on book 2 and when listening to songs that would fit in the other books make me giddy on writing them. But just like when I said goodbye to the Monster, when that was something destructive, I'm sad.

All things in life must come to an end, for the chance of new beginnings. Saying goodbye to the old is always bittersweet. I love this book. I love what I've done with it, how far I have come as a person since I started with it.

But you know what? I’m not trying to strive to be the best in a crowd, but instead focus on being as good as I can when I’m alone: be the best version of myself. Be happy, be healthy, be strong and grasp my dreams. What’s the point of living for tomorrow if I can’t enjoy today? I want to devour every single moment, because life will change soon enough on its own. No need to force it. Any day now, everything can be different, one way or another. But I can never control how.

I want to do my best with the circumstances that has been given to me. Mistakes can never be undone, but I can learn from them and do what I can to correct them. But no one can turn back time. All you can do is letting go of what can’t be changed and don’t linger in hate and bitterness. It’s a poison.

As far as we know, we have only one life. Don’t waste it by trying to please everyone else in matter of career, personal life, appearances and style. Always be true to youself. What’s best for others, may not be the best for you. Reach for your own stars and don’t ever let go of your dreams.

The future will come regardless if you're ready or not. But I still need to land in the fact that the book, that's been in the making for 14 years, has reached the finish-line. Maybe it's a sign that all my struggling in life has reached that point too?

© 2018-2020 by Kajsa Artifex
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