Mamma Mia!

I'm so blessed. It's difficult a lot of times, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I saw an article with an old classmate at the hairdresser today. They wrote about the persons clean past and it made me laugh. But at the same time: what's the point? The only thing that could make it come to light, it would be if someone told about it. Who's going to do that? Not me, that's for sure. It gains nothing for anyone to talk about stuff that happened for God who knows how many years ago. Things that I've gotten past a long time ago. What this person did or didn't do belongs in the past. That person shouldn't be hold responsible for something that happened in the beginning of our teens.

We'll turn 27 years old this year. It's ancient history.

Anyway, I'm so happy now that my medication Abilify is out of the way. I'm awake now. I'm present in the world in a way I haven't been in forever. I'm not walking around feeling tired all the time. I've got the energy to do things!

I have found myself and what I want in life. I want my books to be published and spread it to the people of the world that are in need of escape ... like I was. I want my own income, I want to move to a small house where my cats can feel fresh air behind a net. I don't belong in apartments. I grew up in a house and that's where I belong. I want to get married one day and if the man is understanding and good, I'm open for the possibility of children one day.

Earlier, I was so determined to never have children because I would be a horrible mom. I wouldn't have the strength. I still feel that way. I would never be able to raise a child on my own. I would grant the father full custody where I'm able to visit or I would do an open adoption.

Anyway, the first book is finished (again). It's being checked again before trying to send it to publishers. During that time I'll be working on book 2. I've always gotten ideas to some scenes for both 3 and 4. It's like my vids. Whenever I finish a project, I think of two more :P now that I'm done with book 1 for now, there's space in my brain to think about the other books.

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