Pride and Prejudice

I remember once, a few years ago when I talked about plastic surgery, I got comments about it. The most frequent one was about my BDD and eating disorders: "If you can't see how you look in the mirror, how do you know when it's enough and you're happy?" I didn't have an answer back then.

But now I do.

The truth, is that I will never see it. I will never be able to look in a mirror and see what you see. I have lips like a clown in a face looking like a pufferfish. My eyebrows are too close to my eyes and I have dark circles under my eyes so I always look tired. My nose is crooked and way too big. A single pimple and I see acne.

The body is always too fat. The stomach, the butt, the boobs... everything is disgusting, ugly and fat on my body, no matter what the scale show or how the clothes fit.

The only time I use the mirror to something is when I'm putting on makeup and do my hair. When it comes to how I look, I have to trust the people around me. I have to rely on the people around me to stop me in case I want to do a nosejob. I have to trust that they're telling the truth if I'm starting to lose too much weight.

Then there are the prejudices... I don't understand why so many people look down upon plastic surgery. I mean, no one questions that I medicate for my ADHD to improve my everyday life. What is the difference between that and improving your appearance to feel better mentally? Why raise one thing to the skies while condemning the other, when everything belongs to one single person?

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